When the Universe Switched On The Lights

When I found out I had Asperger's, it was as if the Universe switched on the lights after I had been crawling in the dark my whole life.

It was both a relief and a revelation. Finally, everything made sense. There is nothing wrong with me. I am not a bad person. I am not stupid. I am simply born with a different type of brain.

I cried intense tears of joy. I also cried intense tears of sadness. I cried because I felt a deep sinking confirmation of what I've felt my whole life. I thought I would grow out of it. I thought maybe one day I would feel and be accepted. But no. Now I know, nobody, not even my closest ones, will ever fully understand me. And I will never understand them.

The feeling I’ve always felt - the feeling of being an alien, and the feeling of being misunderstood - is now here to stay for the rest of my life.

However, I am an optimist. I refused to believe that this would be my fate. I started to think of solutions - my typical Aspie brain. How could I find other Aspies? If I found them, would I finally feel understood?

So I forged on my new quest - finding my tribe. I had no idea how I could go about doing this. Nobody is walking around with Aspie name tags. I despised digital communication, so I decided to use The Law of Attraction.

Surprisingly, I started to meet people who were Aspie, though they didn't even know it yet. The funny thing is, they discovered their true identity through me being open about my own Asperger's. I love it when by being vulnerable, others are able to be open about who they truly are too.

Early 2020, I started my MeetUp Group. There I got to meet even more Aspies. I didn't feel like an oddball. I didn't feel misunderstood. Finally, I am not alien. Not the one who never seemed to fit in.

I found Aspie Planet. My planet. And here, I can be myself. No masking necessary.

#Aspie #Neurodivergent